A Spring Message from a Reflection Park Founder

"Arriving at an acceptance of one's mortality is a process, not an epiphany." ~ Atul Gawande

The dawning of the spring season seems to intensely represent the force and power of life. Daffodils rise from the dry, cold, frozen ground to testify that life shall go on. The days slowly lengthen and the gentle, yet insistent chirping of our feathered friends fill the morning air. I am moved to reflect on the beauty, majesty and grace unfurling in nature … the timelessness and sanctity of a tale as old as time, the continual birth and rebirth of the seasons. I am reminded of the impermanence of life and am inspired to remember those who will not bear witness to this particular change of season. 

In my professional roles as a private-duty home care nurse and hospice nurse, I have been present at the bedside of many individuals suffering from long-term chronic illness. Many of those people had been diagnosed with diseases that would limit their life expectancy. Patients would sometimes express the fear of dying, the fear of being forgotten, the fear that the memory of one’s existence would be lost to time and circumstance. 

I once cared for a man, Chris, who was deeply afraid that his life had been pointless. He feared that once he died, he would experience complete “annihilation” – it would be as though he had never lived and therefore that his life had no value. Though he had loved, married, fathered children, founded a non-profit organization, authored several books, and lived a full, rich life, he was overcome with these uncertainties. I usually cared for him overnight, so the quiet and peace would often invite deep introspective discussions regarding a variety of topics. At the time, I did not know how to comfort him or even if he was expecting me to. I really wanted to have some valuable insights or a consoling anecdote or a quote to share with him to assuage his worries. But I did not. I could only offer a friendly ear, so I listened carefully. 

In his voice, I heard the pain of one who would truly miss being with all he loved and wondered if they would miss him too.  Chris frequently and freely shared of himself – his ideas, his theories, and his passions. He built many long-term relationships and left a lasting impression on those who met him. If you spent time with Chris, you laughed. If you were in his company, you were just as likely warmed by his smile as informed of his firm convictions. 

If I could go back and relive the moment when Chris first shared his fears, I would not change a thing. I would listen carefully; I would simply honor the words of a very ill man wrestling with his mortality. I believe he wanted to be heard and I honored that by listening to him.

In his words and his fear of irrelevance came a deeply powerful lesson from Chris – that human connection is the source of infinite births and rebirths and that our imprint on others, like the seasons, may ebb and flow, but continues to evolve, even after our eventual death.

Fear in the face of the unknown is normal, but need not be  . And while loss is invariably painful, it can also be beautiful, expansive, and lead to birth or rebirth of knowledge, sentiments, or fuel new life itself.  

Grief, like nature herself, is a wise teacher, and we can welcome those new seasons and new teachings when and as they arrive.

Reflection Park’s Next Event!

Inspired by Earth Day, this month’s program, “Natural Burial Basics: Planning for Death While Living Your Values,” focuses on reducing our environmental footprint through natural burial. Natural Burial is a growing national movement that supports environmentally sound ways of returning the body to the earth in a natural, simple, and dignified way.

The presenter and facilitator, Jennifer Downs, is the President of the Board of Directors for the Green Burial Association of Maryland, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit dedicated to educating the public and related industries and advocating for natural burial options in the State of Maryland. Jennifer is a Licensed Acupuncturist and RN in practice since 1980. She taught acupuncture for a number of years at TAI Sophia in Columbia, MD. She developed programs for people in the later decades of life, enriched by working one-on-one with patients for decades. The Natural Burial Movement inspired her to get involved as it provides meaningful ways to gather in honor of a loved one and preserves green space for the living.

In addition to a slide presentation on the basics of natural burial, we will hear stories of natural burials from people who have had direct experience with natural burial. We will also hear from members of the Reflection Park team about the vision for natural burial after opening.

There will be time for questions and optional community discussion.

This event is free and open to the public; however, space is limited and pre-registration is required.

We hope to offer more community events including lectures, workshops, conversations, movement and mindfulness, and more. Reflection Park is intended to be a place where people from all backgrounds can come together to celebrate life and its many cycles and stages. Please help us to identify the topics and modalities you are most interested in exploring by completing this short community survey.

Progress Report

We’re busy with a lot of behind-the-scenes work as we gear up to open, including:

• Negotiating a contract with the selected construction company and looking forward to breaking ground on that project soon.

• Continuing to meet with our peers and colleagues, including natural burial operators and green burial associations locally and in other jurisdictions to share best practices as we develop our policies and procedures.

• Working with the Maryland Office of Cemetery Oversight to obtain licensure to open and operate.

• Making our way through a full-scale integration of “Plotbox,” the grave recording database Reflection Park intends to use to keep meticulous records of pre-need and at-need burial arrangements.

About Us

The previous few newsletter issues have introduced members of our team, and we will continue to feature them so you can learn more about what brings them to this work. In the meantime, please check out our new “About Us” page on the website so you can put a face with a name and know more about the people behind the project. 

Your Questions Answered

Can I visit Reflection Park?

We are excited to share the beauty of Reflection Park with everyone through guided tours, open houses, and other meet-and-greet events. As we are about to break ground on a major construction project (permits pending!), we will need to wait until that is complete before we open our proverbial doors. While we wait, we intend to continue holding off-site events like the one on April 28 (noted above) so we can provide updates, share information, and build community. 

Which is it? “Green Burial” or “Natural Burial”?

Green Burial and Natural Burial were coined to reflect the same general process of returning the deceased person’s body to the earth in harmony with the environment. This process is as much about what goes into the ground as what stays out. What is included is a shrouded and/or casketed body using readily biodegradable materials so that the body gives itself back to the earth readily and harmoniously. As a result, carbon remains in the ground where it can fuel new life. What stays out of the ground is embalming fluids, concrete or plastic grave liners and vaults, metal and hardwood caskets, and other synthetic materials that take hundreds or thousands of years to decompose. Organizations like the Green Burial Association of Maryland and the Green Burial Council have held tightly to these practices, and the Green in their name is synonymous with Natural.

With the rise of the environmental movement more recently, “green” has come to be used in a variety of ways to describe products, processes, or values with varying degrees of environmental friendliness. As a result, what is green to one person may not be considered green by another. This is why Reflection Park prefers “natural” because it matches our ethos of transparency: it’s an accurate and unambiguous description of the type of burial we intend to offer.

At Reflection Park we look to the wisdom of our ancestors and many communities worldwide who practice traditional, natural burial as the simplest way to honor our profound connection to each other and all living things through the natural cycle of life, death, and renewal.

How can I express interest in pre-need burial offerings while I await Reflection Park’s opening?

We are frequently asked how to express interest in our offerings ahead of our opening. In response, we have created a place on our website where you can do just that. If you would like to be contacted as soon as we can offer pre-need arrangements, please complete the relevant information in our updated contact form and we will reach out to you as soon as we open.

More ways to stay in touch….

In addition to our website and newsletter, Reflection Park has a social media presence on Instagram and Facebook. Please follow, share, and interact with us! We plan to publish content weekly.

Reflection Park is a 501(c)(3) non-profit charity, and all donations are tax deductible. We are grateful for every dollar contributed in support of our mission to create a sacred place that celebrates the cycle of life, death, and renewal. More information can be found on our donation page.

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